Donut-aholics

I found the perfect thing to serve at my high stakes dreidel game.

Vodka Sufganiyot! I'm serious. Check out the Ynet article here.

For those of you who don't know, sufganiyot are jelly donuts, and they are a big part of the Hanukkah tradition here in Israel.

Anyway, a liquor company has decided that this year they are going to market their new brand of Vodka, by infusing it into the popular holiday pastry.

The donuts will have about the same amount of alcohol as 1 bottle of beer, and will cost only 4.5 shekel, which is just a little over a dollar.

What I am saying, is that this Hanukkah in Israel, for less than $7, you can get hammered on a six pack of jelly donuts.

If that isn't enough to make young American Jews considder making Aliyah, I don't know what is. Spread the word on college campuses every where, donut party in the Holy Land!

Hilarious.

A Great Miracle Happened Here

I have this idea for a high stakes dreidel game.

I am picturing something like 5 guys sitting around a table, smoking cigars and drinking beer. Each brings about 200 shekels in 10 shekel coins, and take turns spinning the top like they were rolling dice in Vegas.

People would be yelling things like, "Give me a gimmel bitch!" and "Spin like I made you out of clay!"

I was pitching the idea to one of my buddies, just trying to get a laugh, and who knows maybe he would be into a little "Jewish roulette", but then he told something I didn't know. He said that dreidels in the United States are actually different than those in Israel.

I'll explain.

Dreidels have 4 sides, each marked by a letter representing a word. Nun (נ) Gimmel (ג)- Hay (ה)- Shin (ש). In Hebrew, "Nes gadol haya sham" meaning, "A great miracle happened there."

But when you live in Israel, the miracle of course didn't happen "there", it happened "here".
The hebrew word for "here" is "po", so the shin is replaced by a Pay (פ). "Nes gadol haya po", meaning, "A great miracle happened here."

Immediately I was filled with a sense of pride. I no longer live "there", I live "here". I live where the miracle happened.

"Spin you little bastard, spin!"

Most Israelis Support The Two-State Fantasy

In a lead up to Netanyahu's meetings with Obama next week, Ynet has commissioned a poll intended to gauge Israeli public opinion concerning a two-state solution.

You can find the results here.

Ultimately, 58% of Israeli's report being in favor of a two-state solution, with 73% of the secular population offering their support.

Does that mean that Netanyahu, who has as of yet refused to publicly support the two-state solution, despite great pressure to do so, is some how out of step with the Israeli population?

The answer is no.

Like all opinion polls, the results are determined by how the question is framed.

Those surveyed were asked if they supported "two states for two peoples."

But as of now, such a scenario doesn't exist.

The Palestinians have publicly stated that they will not recognize Israel's right to exist as a Jewish state. A fact which can not be mentioned enough.

Asking if you support "two states for two peoples", is like asking if you believe it is safe for children to own Unicorns as pets.

Some will think, "Unicorns? I don't know, sounds dangerous, better to keep them away from kids."

Others will say, "Absolutely! If I had it my way, every child would have a mythical creature to play with after school."

In the end though, does it really matter what any one thinks about fictional things like unicorns, or the equally non-existent Palestinian negotiating partner?

And Furthermore, the poll failed to ask about any of the conditions which might be necessary, for a two-state solution to emerge.

How would the Israeli public have answered if asked, "Would you support a two-state solution even if it meant sharing Jerusalem as a capital city?

Or, "Would you support a two-state solution even if it meant accepting the right of return of hundreds of thousands of Palestinians into Israel?"

Or giving up the Golan Heights?

Or how about negotiating with Hamas?

It is easy to say that you support a two-state solution when the question is posed devoid of context.

So considering that this poll was rigged to produce a positive result, I would argue that an overall support of 58% for a two-state solution, is rather underwhelming.

Netanyahu needs to tell Obama, that all-in-all Israel does support the dream of a two-state solution. What we will not support, however, is being forced into a two-state nightmare.

Israeli Celebrities...Sexy, Athletic, and Cool

Bar Rafaeli, the Israeli supermodel, and Leonardo Decaprio's girlfriend, has been judged by the men's magazine Maxim, to be the third "Hottest" women in the world. Earlier in the year she was selected to be on the cover on Sports Illustrated swim suite edition.

Shahar Pe'er, the Israeli tennis star, who has been ranked as high as 15th in the world, and has reached the quarter finals of several grand-slam tournaments, has recently learned that our injured ankle will keep her off the court for at least 4 weeks. She will not be able to compete in the French Open to the disappointment of her fans, who had high hopes for her on the clay courts this time around.

Noa and Mira, have reached the Eurovision finals. If you haven't heard of Eurovision, it is a singing contest, which is something like a cross between American Idol and the Olympics. Eurovision is a sensation, which is watched by hundreds of millions of people around the world. The two women representing Israel include Noa who is Jewish, and Mira who is Arab. Their song, There Must Be Another Way, is about their hopes for peace between Israelis and Palestinians.

When you live in the United States, there are more celebrities then you can count. There are so many super-models, star athletes, and famous pop-singers, that most don't even qualify as house hold names.

But in the small country of Israel, when someone is able to make it on the world stage, and become genuinely famous internationally, their status rises above celebrity, and becomes something more.

Bar Rafaeli, Shahar Pe'er, Noa and Mira. These women aren't just famous to those who follow fashion, or sports, or music. Everybody knows their names, from young children to their grandparents.

Their success gives people the feeling that they too can achieve the highest levels in their own endeavors.

That Israel isn't too small for their dreams.

If you want the young Jews of the world to take pride in their people, tell them of the dramatic, and heroic events, which comprise our history. Tell them of all the great Jewish thinkers, and fighters, and doers, who have changed the world time and time again.

But if you want them to listen, tell them that today Jews are sexy, athletic, and cool... and that we are famous for it.

The Worst Thing About Making Aliyah

Making Aliyah can really suck sometimes.

It isn't because living as an immigrant in Israel is difficult, and don't get me wrong, living as an immigrant in Israel is very difficult.

Struggling with the language: Simple things like making a doctors appointment, or applying for a credit card, or just trying to find something in a supermarket, can become real challenges.

The other day I wanted to buy tin foil. I couldn't see it on the shelves. My Hebrew is poor compared to my friends who made Aliyah around the same time I did, but still I am somewhat "conversational". Regardless, the number of words I haven't learned yet are endless. After three years in the country, the word for "tin-foil" had never really come up before. Standing in the isle and trying to pantomime, and explain what I wanted, felt embarrassing, and frustrating. Most of the time I don't let situations like this get to me. But the daily grind is tough enough, with out the added stress of not being able to communicate, and being essentially illiterate. I am an educated professional adult, and feeling like a helpless child, can be trying. Turns out tin-foil in Hebrew is nir-casef, which directly translates into, "silver-paper". Who knew?

Accepting a lower standard of living: Actually I get paid pretty well compared to the average Israeli. I work entirely in English, and have been able to earn a decent salary. But "decent" is a relative term.

The cost of living in Israel is not all that much less then the United States. The rents are basically the same. But my salary is half of what I would be making in America. On top of that, the taxes are oppressive.

I am able to afford all the essentials, but something mundane, like going out to the movies, has become an expensive luxury, and buying a new cell phone is a major purchase, which needs to be saved for.

There is a joke I tell friends considering making Aliyah. How do you end up with a million dollars in your Israeli bank account?... Move here with two million.

Missing American culture: There are so many things you take for granted, before you begin living life as an immigrant.

Like watching a comedy and understanding the jokes.

I was watching Israeli television with some friends in my office, late one night after work. The truth is I was missing a lot, because I just wasn't catching the Hebrew. But sometimes I was understanding the language, and still had no idea what they were talking about. Jokes about soccer players I have never heard of, or movies I have never seen, or politicians from 10 years ago, before I was in the country. You ask them to explain, but its impossible. You are left with a feeling of alienation.

What I wouldn't give to watch the Red-Sox game after work, and then chat about the team's season with co-workers the next day. It is emotionally straining to feel outside of one's community.

Dealing with the endless bureaucracy: Getting yourself "set up" is a never ending task.

Just when I think there is nothing left to do, to fully document myself as a citizen of Israel, another chore arises.

Recently my wife and I decided to try and visit her parents in the Ukraine this summer. We then realized that our passports were out of date. You have to wait a year before you can get an Israeli passport, however, I had to leave the country on a short trip before I had been living in the country a year, so I got a temporary passport at the time. I had forgotten all about that. Now I realize I have to get a permanent passport, which means going to the misrad-hapnim (office of the interior) and waiting in line for possibly hours. Then trying to find someone who speaks English, or has the patience to explain everything to me in simple slow Hebrew. Then there will be forms to fill out, which I won't be able to read, and fees to pay, which I really can't afford.

A new Israeli immigrant is constantly finding themselves bogged down in chores, which everyone else, born in the country, took care of years ago. Soon I will take my driving test. I am hoping to pass, but am dreading the amount of waiting in line, and filling out of paperwork, which will be necessary to actually get my licence.

But all of this... money, Hebrew, culture, chores...it's nothing. Who cares? A small price to pay, to live as a free Jew in my own land. Believe me, I know how lucky I am, and how many others sacrificed everything so that I could have the privilege to live in Israel.

But a couple of days ago, something happened, which really made me understand just how difficult making Aliyah can be.

My nephew was born.

His picture showed up in my email inbox just hours after he came into the world.

A couple of years before, my sister had her first child, a little girl. I haven't met her yet. I have watched her grow up in photographs. I have heard her speak on the telephone.

And as this new member of my family arrived, I am faced with the reality, that I may not be able to see him either, for who knows how long.

Right now, a trip to the United States seems almost impossible. Who has the money? Who has the time?

Sometimes making Aliyah really sucks.

Our Nukes are None of Your Business

Recently, both Yad Vashem and the IDF, have created Youtube channels.

I spent several hours this Shabbat, flipping back and forth between the videos on each site.

Once again I allowed myself to be reminded of the horrors of the Holocaust. To look at the grisly footage, and to understand that the desperate victims depicted, are not any different from myself.

I also watched the IDF kicking ass. Precision guided smart bombs punishing our enemies. Young Jews with machine guns, trained to kill, fighting bravely with the terrorists, and defending my family and my home.

Unarmed Jews being marched into gas chambers. Armed Jews marching into battle.

As this dichotomy played out on my computer screen, I realized that something in the news from the past week, had become clearer.

The U.S. was way out of line, the minute they mentioned Israel's Nuclear arsenal. And their calls to have Israel sign the Nuclear Non-Proliferation-Treaty, shows just how little they understand Israel, and the history of the Jewish people.

Israel's nuclear arsenal, buried in the Negev, is a message to the world.

"NEVER AGAIN"

And that's all the U.N., the U.S., or anybody else needs to know.

The fact that Obama doesn't understand this, is the reason Israeli's just don't trust him.

AIPAC- Lobbying For a Fantasy

AIPAC (American Israel Public Afairs Committee) plans on addressing a letter to Obama lobbying for the creation of a "viable Palestinian state."

This is despite the fact that the newly elected prime minister of Israel has made it clear that Israel does not intend to support the two-state solution outright.

The fact that AIPAC has taken a position at odds with the Israel government and the will of the Israeli people, is unfortunate, although not surprising.

AIPAC is not a pro-Israel lobby group as they have so often been claimed to be.

On their website, they state their objective as being to, "...make Israel more secure by ensuring that American support remains strong," and that their efforts are, "...aimed at broadening and deepening the U.S.-Israel bond."

In other words, AIPAC does not claim to lobby for Israel's best interests, but rather to lobby for American support of Israel, taking for granted, that the support of the United States, is always in Israel's best interests.

But what happens when the two countries have a clear disagreement about what is best for Israel? Who's side will AIPAC be on?

Today the answer is clear.

AIPAC doesn't care about what Israel wants or needs, they care about American support. And to avoid any kind of strain upon the Israeli U.S. relationship, they will aggressively take the side of the American government, in hopes that this support will be returned in kind.

And so we watch a pathetic situation in which AIPAC is lobbying the Obama administration to do something which they have said adamantly from the beginning they absolutely intend to do.

Lobbying Obama to support the two-state solution, is like lobbying the Pope to accept Jesus.

To take the charade even farther, the two-state solution they advocate is a complete fantasy.

The letter calls for a "Palestinian state living side by side in peace with the Jewish state of Israel"

The problem, is that the Palestinians have rejected Netanyahu's request to openly support Israel as a "Jewish" state.

That's right. We asked them if they wanted to have a country sharing a border with a Jewish Israel, and they said NO! We don't want that!

Apparently, AIPAC is undaunted by this fact.

They think it is in Israel's best interests to participate in negotiations which are intended to produce a result, which one of the parties involved, has already ruled out.

AIPAC's letter also completely glosses over the fact that the Palestinians are in the midst of a civil war. Their society is split in two.

The letter says, "Once terrorists are no longer in control of Gaza and as responsible Palestinian forces become more capable of demonstrating the ability to govern and to maintain security, an accord with Israel will be easier to attain."

Well I'm sure that's true.

And once Iran stops calling for the destruction of Israel, ends its support for fanatical Islamic terrorism, and creates an open democratic society... maybe we won't be so worried about them having a nuclear bomb.

Watch Bibi's address to the conference above. He outlines a sober approach to the situation. A plan based in reality. He advocates for a policy which would further the interests of Israel, even if it might strain the relationship with the current American administration.

AIPAC needs to ask itself, "whose side are we on?"